I’m all for saving the planet, the environment, the whales, and your mom. I’m down with conserving our resources, totally am buying compact fluorescent bulbs for my house, and I even traded in my gas-guzzling SUV for a smaller, less-guzzling one.

So, you and I? We’re not so different.

How we ARE different, however, is that I have an actual job, wherein I earn money to perform tasks which add value to the company. You stand on a street corner and when I’m traveling between my job and my home, try to get me to talk to you about the environment. Which is all fine and good, but you’re wearing a nylon jacket, made from the very petroleum products you so despise, and it makes me wonder if you also rode in a gas-guzzling SUV while spraying CFC-laden air freshener this morning. Of course, it’s not YOUR SUV. It’s your mom’s. Because you still live at home, and she had to drop you off at the street corner so you could stand in my way. Because you don’t have a job, you have a cause. And causes don’t pay rent.

If you want my attention, don’t pester me in the street; offer something that helps make it easier for me to help your cause. Then you’ll not only gain my interest, you might just get my respect.

Until then, get out of my way, okay?