On Being A Parent And Professional
I work a lot.
I do it because I enjoy my job, because I am building a career, because I am the primary earner…because I want to and need to. All the right reasons, right?
On top of that, I’m a dad. My kids are my world, and each new milestone in their lives is a source of joy for me. I potty trained Ben, I rock my daughter to sleep each evening, I grab Alex and sit him down to watch soccer with me ( Go Fire!)… when my kids have a need and I can help with it, I do my best to help.
I want to be a parent that other parents recognize as a real parent. It pains me to think that because I work so much other parents assume that I’m not involved in my kids’ lives. I tried to volunteer at Ben’s school but was quickly dismissed because I couldn’t meet at 9:30am on a Thursday. It’s hilarious — at work, people ask me about parenting stuff all the time. Many of my coworkers are starting to have kids now and they are amazed that I already have three, so they ask what carseats to look at (Britax) or how much time to take off when baby comes ( as much time as you can possibly manage! ). But at Ben’s school and in the neighborhood it seems the playing field is dominated by professional parents. You know the kind: not just a stay-home parent, but someone who literally critiques their own performance as a parent, like their entire self-worth is derived from making everything perfect for their kids. The kind that’s shocked when I give my kid a packet of manufactured crackers and not the whole grain ones that I ground myself, with a custom mill I made with Swedish imported wood, from fresh grain I grew in my own field, and then baked with solar power in the Eco-friendly hearth in the backyard. THOSE. Not the cheez-its. So it seems that the two are somehow mutually exclusive, and that makes me sad.
I may not be able to swing by and have midmorning tea, but I still want to help out and meet other parents and use my talents to make things better however I can. At least, I did. Now I just kinda feel unwanted.
What do you think? Should working parents get to help out at schools? Should we just stick our noses back into our work?
Oh, and should we give a flying shit who Tiger Woods slept with on a given day?
December 15th, 2009 - 12:33
Dave,
You are AWESOME!
No on the Tiger thing, finally people are realizing he is freaking human, not that he should have slept around, if he really did, but his perfect veneer has finally cracked.
As for the working parent thing, it sucks! I used to take half a vacation day to go to school with Alex just to be snubbed by the “professional moms”. It sucked and Alex even noticed it and finally quit asking me to volunteer. Get to start all over again with Marjorie in a few years though, so yeah, NOT.
If you can handle the crap from the “pros” keep going to school, Ben appreciates it and Alex and Amelia will too. But don’t take any more crap then you have to cause none of us need more stress. Find out what Ben thinks, does he really want you there or doesn’t it really matter as long as you do fun stuff at home?
Good luck and tell Becky she has to come visit me this year, ok?
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December 18th, 2009 - 10:10
Tiger Who? Really gives a fuck who he washed his balls with, it’s completely irrelevant to life. Except to warn my hubby that if he EVER though he could pull that shit off, I would pull off his man parts and gag him with them.
Aaahhh, the working parent vs annoying parent. I work full time, 45 minutes from home. There are no daily doses of parental involvement for me, only the occassional visit when the kids ask.
I did take my revenge on those holier than thou daily involved nutra-freak parents that would stay in the classrooms all day long, if they could. I got on the board of education. That’s being involved in my kid’s schools.
Plus I get my name on all the school memo’s that get sent out. So there!
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