Pacify Me, Part Deux
...so where was I? Oh yes, fatherhood ( I'm not gangsta enough to call it Father Hood like Mr. Dogg). Did I mention that those books don't say a damn thing about being a dad? And when they do, it's to tell you that you have a laundry list of things you really should already have been doing but clearly haven't, so by the way, you're not a good parent. "But I'm not even a parent yet!" you may protest, but the books' clear, black-on-white text just stares back at you.
Pacify Me, on the other hand, gives you a good old-fashioned buddy heads-up. Here's a beer: muscle relaxant. It's going to feel a bit like your molecules have been shifted through space; you'll get through it. Now, Have some peanuts. Ready?
Ready....maybe just one more pint?
Throughout the book, Chris touches on the twists and turns that make it tricky to take on that Dad title, like how everyone has advice for you which you must find a nice way to blatantly ignore; how your social life will change (though not totally evaporate, unless you want it to); how to handle the fact that your wife has become at least one, but possibly two or three different people; what to do when your baby screams at you ( hungry? diaper? just crabby? accidentally saw "Daisy of Love"? ); how many things people will try to sell you in order to make you a better parent (answer: how many will you buy?); how much easier it is to *actually* play with your kids than it is to *imagine* playing with them beforehand; how your kids are the best captive audience you'll ever have...
I really, really wish I'd had this book when I became a dad. I would have laughed a lot more, and laughing at yourself trying to raise kids is probably the healthiest, most effective solution of all.
So, whether you're a new dad or an old one, you'll find a good laugh and lots of comfort in Pacify Me. Pick it up at the publisher's site or at Amazon. They even have a Kindle version.
Tweetaholic
- @grace134 amen
- @mommywantsvodka and some bleach
- @parenting_twins Ha! Me, a celebrity? I'm just a roadie on the Aunt Becky tour. And I fix the website sometimes.
- Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name...or, just go hide in the basement and play on the playstation.
- Just watched @mommywantsvodka put four boxes of uncrustables into our cart and exclaim: "Yay!" 'nuff said.
The Dwinkosphere
Oldest + Youngest, Best Buds
Ben & Amelia, proving that a 7-year age gap is nothing when it comes to brothers & sisters & Playmobil..
Posted via web from dwink | Comment »
New York, New York
The last time I went to NYC, it was for a conference. I brought along
Becky and Ben, and they went off to visit friends while I went to listen
to people talk about some Compliance thing or another. I don’t remember
much of the conference, to be honest, but I DO remember ditching it one
afternoon to walk around Central Park, Ben happily chasing his “Pumball”
(a wadded up piece of paper — yeah, he’s always been this way). It feels like a lifetime ago. Now, we have too many kids to bring them along, so it’s just me. I’m
going to work, and it’s cold outside. Probably will be so busy that I
won’t even make it over to Central Park, much less to wander around it.
Will be wearing dress clothes, and sitting in meetings, and maybe
getting some of the locals to show me something interesting after work. I’m thrilled to be going again, though. There’s something about NYC that
feels really good to me; maybe it’s that it is unabashedly City, that
it’s such a hodgepodge of buildings and nooks and crannies and people.
Or maybe it’s the streets and bridges whose names are famous nationwide, thanks to
Sex and the City and countless other movies and shows: FDR Drive, Park
Avenue, the Jersey Turnpike, Brooklyn Bridge — as a visitor, there’s
great novelty in seeing that you’re riding on these streets that have
been mentioned a million times. I imagine it’s the same feeling Chicago
visitors get about Michigan Ave or Lake Shore Drive. So, this time I intend to breathe in as much as I can while rushing from
airport to office to hotel and back to office again, embedding another
fond memory into my cortex to tide me over until the next time I get to
visit, because while Chicago is my home, I will always love New York.Posted via email from dwink | Comment »
I gave some advice. Is it good advice? You be the judge.
You Said…
- Mrs Soup on Now THIS is just a little excessive:
- Bill on Now THIS is just a little excessive:
- SoccerMom on Why The iPad Isn’t The End Of Society As We Know It
June 13th, 2009 - 16:16
Wait, you have kids? Who is the filthy whore who bore you kids?
[Reply]
June 15th, 2009 - 12:37
Thanks for the great review. Nick Fury says thank you, too.
[Reply]